80 Funny and inspirational health quotes for women

We’ve all had those days—the kind when you feel completely defeated, or when all your health-conscious efforts seem to be going nowhere, and you start to wonder if it’s really worth it. But as Michelle Obama wisely reminds us, "Progress doesn’t happen in a day, but it happens in the doing."

Or maybe you find yourself worrying too much. Mark Twain once said, "I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened." Sound familiar?

Then there’s that day when all you really need is a good laugh to get through—like Eleanor Roosevelt said, "A woman is like a tea bag; you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." (Okay, I’m probably the only one laughing here... but you get the idea!)

Do you have those days? If you’re nodding along, let’s shake off the stress and laugh it out. After all, laughter is a strong woman’s secret weapon. Whether it’s a funny joke from Tina Fey, a witty line from Groucho Marx, or just one of those Charlie Brown moments, laughter has a long way to go in lifting your spirits.

So, grab your cup of tea (or maybe some wine!), sit back, and enjoy these funny women’s health quotes that are sure to tickle your funny bone. Because, as Joan Rivers once said, "At the end of the day, laughter is the best cosmetic!"

Here are some funny quotes about woman’s health:

• "Forget diamonds, chocolate is a girl's best friend—especially when it's labeled 'antioxidant-rich!'"

• "Running late counts as cardio, right?"

• "Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"

• "I do yoga to burn off the crazy. It’s cheaper than therapy!"

• "My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."

• "Some days, I feel like a fitness guru. Other days, I can't find my gym socks."

• "Healthy is the new skinny, but I still want fries with that."
• "I’m not a regular mom; I’m a cool mom who does squats while folding laundry."
• "I’m into fitness—fit'ness whole pizza in my mouth, then doing some crunches!"
• "The only running I do is after the ice cream truck."
• "I tried to be a morning person, but 6 am is not my vibe. My workout starts at 10... pm, Netflix marathon!"
• "Sweating like a pig during workouts just means you're one step closer to looking like a fox!"
• "I do crunches—crunch here, crunch there, crunch everywhere. My abs are ready... under all that pizza."
• "My favorite machine at the gym is the one that turns grapes into wine."
• "Who needs a thigh gap when you can have thunder thighs?"
• "I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
• "I have a love-hate relationship with burpees. I love to hate them."
• "If only my wallet was as thick as my thighs after leg day."
• "I like long walks... to the fridge."

How about fun and motivating quotes for home workouts specifically for women?

• "Sweat now, shine later—your living room is your new power zone!"

• "Home is where the heart is—and today, your heart is doing cardio!"

• "Home workouts: where you can lift heavy and still be in your PJs."

• "Home workout rule #1: Pajamas are acceptable gym attire."

• "Consistency is key, and the best part is, your home is always open."
• "Your home workout is a meeting with yourself—don’t skip it!"
• "Who needs a gym when you've got motivation, a yoga mat, and a living room full of possibilities?"
• "You don’t need fancy equipment to get strong—just some determination and a pair of dumbbells."
• "At home or in the gym, strength is built wherever you choose to bring it!"
• "Your home, your rules, your workout—no excuses!"
• "Turn your living room into a fitness studio—sweat, stretch, repeat!"
• "No commute, no problem—crush your goals right at home!"
• "You don’t have to go far to find your strongest self—just roll out the mat and start moving!"
• "Strong is what happens when you run out of excuses and start at home."
• "Your home gym doesn’t close, so neither should your determination."
• "No equipment? No problem—your body is your best tool!"
• "Transform your home into a powerhouse—one workout at a time."
• "Home is where the burpees happen!"
• "The best thing about home workouts? No waiting for machines!"
• "Push yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you—especially at home!"

Here is list of quotes for women’s mental health to lighten things up!

• "I’m fine, it’s just my brain that’s on a rollercoaster without a seatbelt!"

• "Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I put my keys in the fridge."

• "I thought my mental breakdowns would be more glamorous. Like, at a spa or something."
• "My mind is like my internet browser—19 tabs open, 3 frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from."
• "I told my anxiety to stay in the past, but apparently, it didn’t get the memo!"
• "Mental health days are like personal holidays, but without the margaritas."
• "I do yoga to relax. Just kidding, I drink wine in stretchy pants."
• "I’ve got 99 problems, and 98 of them exist only in my head!"
• "Anxiety is like that one friend who never stops talking—only it’s in your brain."
• "Today’s mood: a combination of Beyoncé-level confidence and a nap."

There are some funny quotes about healthy food for women: 

• "I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it—but only if it high in protein of course!"

• "Avocados are proof that healthy fats exist… and that they’ll bankrupt you."
• "Healthy food is like a relationship—it’s hard work, but the results are worth it!"
• "My favorite exercise? Chewing… on healthy snacks!"
• "Trying to eat healthy, but carbs keep sending me 'you up?' texts."
• "Salad: because you don’t make friends with pizza… apparently."
• "My love language? Smoothies and dark chocolate."
• "I work out so I can eat more health foods… and maybe some fries."
• "Dear broccoli, I wish I loved you as much as I love fries."
• "Healthy eating is great, but have you tried a cheese platter?"

Here are some funny quotes about poor health:

• "I told my body it’s time to get in shape, and it laughed back, ‘You first!’"
• "My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So now I do it in front of a mirror."
• "I would exercise, but it makes my ice cream melt."
• "I tried running, but I kept spilling my coffee."
• "I’m not saying I’m out of shape, but I just chased my dog and got winded."
• "I thought I was in shape, but then I tried to get off the couch without grunting."
• "I like to think of my body as a finely tuned machine... that needs constant repair."
• "My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
• "I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle."
• "My body is a temple... but it’s currently undergoing renovations."

Here are some funny gym workout quotes for women:

• "Squats? I thought you said 'shots'!"

• "I'm not sweating, I'm sparkling!"

• "I go to the gym because punching people is frowned upon."

• "I like long walks… especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me at the gym."
• "My favorite exercise at the gym? Checking my phone between sets."
• "Running late is my cardio."
• "I have a love-hate relationship with the gym… mostly hate, but I keep showing up."
• "Who needs a personal trainer when you have gym clothes that remind you to go?"
• "I work out because I really, really like dessert."
• "Gym rule #1: If you still look cute after your workout, you didn’t train hard enough!"
• "It was so windy on my way to the gym that I accidentally blew into the wine store instead!"

How are these quotes? Which one is the best quotes in your opinion? Are they putting you in a good mood yet?

Sometimes, a single quote can be the beautiful thing you need to shift your perspective. Remember, all the hard work you’re putting into yourself—whether it’s your fitness, mental health, or healthy diet—is building up, even if you don’t always feel or see it right away.

Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows, but with a sense of humor and a little laughter, you can push through the hard times and live the life you’ve imagined.

Here is to good health and good things in your life!